evilkate: (Default)
It seems strange to me, this question that rises with such irregular regularity.

How is it, that healing is such a long, arduous thing, yet those that cause the damage, through moments of brief indifference, remain ignorant to how simple their task? Or maybe they aren't. Perhaps they understand how easy it is and that becomes the whole of the why. It is done because it is easy, because it lacks any need to reach toward humanity. It is done to be done ... "because it can be".

Or perhaps it is a primal drive. Where there is rage, there is no reason. That anger is a fire that consumes all thought, all conscience, all need to accept the most common ties between each of us. It burns, searing at the humanity of the doer, at the trust  and heart of the done to.

This would explain why the damage itself is so like a burn, each layer tenuously folded over another, secrets and shame tucked between layers, burrowing down toward a molten core. The healing of this works from the outside in - just as the wounds were placed - such that a survivor might appear to be healed to an external eye, yet have many layers still knitting together in the deep below.

Those that wish to place an injury can  to do so with such ease. It is a task of light endeavour to cause hurt, to destroy or damage something, or someone. Years pass and the targets of that damage still grapple with their healing, they still flail around at the bottom of the sea, waiting for the rain.

I suspect there is an enduring message or two here somewhere. Something about how precious everything is, how brief and fragile. In the end, entropy always wins - yet, faced with that certainty , we persist. To the universe, we are such small and fragile creatures, perhaps beneath notice. Perhaps not. Whatever the answer there, we struggle and strive and push against the weight of things. We endure.

Do not mistake this persistence for a stubborn or prideful response. These are not the forces that shape us so. We persist because we create. As we heal, we create ourselves again. In the end, without creation, entropy would be an unnecessary concept.

Creating and building are difficult because they are important. Such creations can, and often do, outlive their creators. Some have outlived the very civilisations that encompassed them. That creative energy is love.

So entropy might someday win. The universe may turn cold and formless, but it would not be able to do so without the creative forces that preceded that turn.

It's been years since my attack. I'm still mending but I can see beyond that task now. I can see that renewal is not an end in itself.

It is a beginning. Much like the one opening before me. The one filled with love and kindness and understanding. The one I call gently by name - among other things.

Kate Out


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October 2010

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